You Are Who You Are

Hi all,

We are all individuals and we all dress, act and sound different when we talk, but this is no reason to try and make every one of us the same, we can’t all be the same because that would be impossible.

I know for a fact that when I was at school I used to get bullied for being overweight, Lesbian and being a tomboy as well, none of the teachers used to help me at all, apart from the Drama teacher, she helped me more than she knew by making sure that I had a main role to play within the classroom, I went from being the shy, overweight, lesbian girl, to the girl  that was directing the whole class in almost like a freeze frame situation, I had no idea what I was doing and she loved it because she was getting me to have a voice within the classroom and encourage me to be more opinionated and to be more outspoken like she knew that I could be.

My point is, is that everyone develops at different speeds, you can either speed up and get to where you want to be with your personality straight away, or like I was it can take a while before you get to where you want to be with your personality, but none of this means that you should be singled out a ridiculed for this because you are who you are, even at a young age whilst you’re still in school. No one can tell you what to be or what not to be, this is up to you and later on, you will find you you are meant to be and then that when your personality will blossom.

Jem

xx

My Role Models

Hi all,

We all have those friends that we keep close to us and the celebrities that we watch on TV, but how many of those people do you class as Role Models when they probably should be, perhaps you admire them for something or perhaps you look up to them, well any of those things mean that they are your Role Model for one reason or another, which means that they are a type of person who you aspire to be.

I myself have got many Role Models for many different reasons, one, of course being my Mum after my Dad passed she had to be both a Mum and a Dad to me and she is fantastic at both, I don’t know where I would be without her now, to be honest.

Another set of Role Models really (although I wouldn’t tell them this) would be my four friends, the people that I turn to when I need them, things have happened in the past which caused us to separate for a while, but now we are all back together and I honestly don’t know where I would be without them. Even though sometimes they do get on my nerves, they are like family whenever I need advice and sometimes advice that I need to listen to, although I’m not particularly keen on listening to and I could do with taking more notice of them and the advice they give.

Then there’s my two Aunties, who I love dearly one is a computer geek (or so she thinks) then the other Aunt works for different airlines organising flights for different businesses to different parts of the world. Both of my aunties inspire me greatly because they a both strong and independent women having both been through numerous things in their lives, although I admire them both for this and still carrying on the way that they both are today.

The long and short of the story is that everyone has got Role Models and you don’t even have to be close to the person for them to be considered a Role Model to you. Yes, the Role Models that I have described are family to me, but you can have different celebrity Role Models as well and these are just celebrities that you look up to for maybe just having the same beliefs and outlooks on life as you.

Jem

xx

 

 

Why Pride?

Hi People,

So this post is a lot different from one that I would normally do, and this is because it is a question that gets asked either a lot on social media or over YouTube whenever someone who is gay chooses to do a Q and A with their followers, so I thought that I should voice my own opinion on this matter.

This year Pride is more important than ever it has now been 50 years since homosexuality was decriminalised in the UK, therefore LGBT+ people can now be themselves and even get married within the UK. However 50 years ago things were very different, LGBT couples couldn’t walk down the streets hand in hand, nor could they even dream of getting married one day, this has now all changed but back then it was seen as a taboo and could get you arrested for public indecency, so LGBT people lived their lives as a lie so to speak because they couldn’t be true to who they were because of the laws.

The case of the way things were within the UK 50 years ago still exists today within some countries across the globe, people still get killed for being gay in some countries and in other countries it’s almost like a manhunt if you are even suspected of being gay they try to hunt you down.

This to me is why we still need Pride in this country, not just to support LGBT people in the UK but elsewhere in the world, where being LGBT is like living a prison sentence, because of how they are treated and how they are made to feel by their government. So Pride today exists still very much as a political event, but even more so as a celebration for how far our laws within the UK have changed towards LGBT people.

Please voice your opinions as well in the comments below, as I would love to hear what you also have to say on Pride.

That’s all for now

Happy Pride

Jem

xx

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Music Therapy

Hi all,

So this one is a little more random, so I apologise for that, but I felt like I had to do this, and no it’s not a course of treatment that you can sign up for at the Doctor’s (although it probably should be) it’s something that I have used to help me through different stages of my life. That is mainly because music offers a sense of freedom that you don’t get from anything else, apart from reading, but the thing with music is that you can listen to it, whatever you are doing, whereas reading you have to take time out of what you are doing to pick up a book and read the book to get the freedom from life that you long for.

So this started when I was younger and my dad was going through his treatment, every morning I used to turn my music up in my room, as loud as it would go and I used to dance and sing to my new favourite track from either a film, band or artist that I was into at that time. I remember one of my favourite films that I used to play the soundtrack to a lot was Camp Rock, then I used to go from that to Cheryl Cole and then to perhaps McFly, this used to change dependant on how I was feeling at that particular moment or morning.

Now, I wish I could say that my habits have changed but really they haven’t, particularly when I came out I was listening to a lot of Gay artists from, Joe McElderry to Union J and I have not developed that to become huge fans of both, because even though the whole band of Union J aren’t Gay, I support the lead singer of Union J ‘Jaymi Hensley’ and he is Gay and has got all the Sass to go with it, he is a big inspiration to anyone that is Gay or are struggling to come out as Gay.

So basically whenever I am struggling with a life event that is difficult for me to deal with, I turn up the music as loud as it will go and I just dance and sing as loud as I can, to just get rid of the anxiety that clouds me at that particular time so when I struggle music is the thing that I turn to, when I am on my own and not surrounded by my friends.

So this is my way of coping, what’s yours? I would love to hear in the comments below.

That’s all from me for now.

Jem

xx

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International Day in Support of Victims of Torture

Hi All,

You may not know it, but today is International Day in Support of Victims of Torture, this was originally celebrated in order to totally eradicate the idea of torture altogether on the 12th of December 1997 and this day also stands against other inhumane treatment that people shouldn’t have to go through.

This day is also where people are remembered for some of the most terrible things that they have been through in their lives. This event this year to me is now more important than ever, due to the recent events that have taken place, in Manchester and of course more recently London, even though these events were dealt with what happened whilst the events were taking place could be deemed as torture for the many victims that have been effected.

Also people have suffered torture throughout history, suffering some of the most brutal punishments for crimes that were committed that we now no longer see as crimes, an example of this would be what Alan Turing went through, even though some of the work that he did saved us during the war, this didn’t seem to count for anything once it had been discovered that he was gay and then he was sentenced to chemical castration, before he committed suicide by cyanide poisoning. It was years after his death in 1954 that he finally received a pardon from the Prime Minister (Gordon Brown) in 2013 for the act of sexual indecency that he apparently committed. To me when someone does work to save the country(as he did) this shouldn’t have mattered to anyone wha he was doing behind closed doors, but of course it did and now thankfully his work lives on and still continues to this day within the different computer systems that we use on a day-to-day basis.

Different forms of torture still occurs even now across the globe and it is so important that we remember that whilst we may be in countries that are fortunate to have the things that we have around us, some people haven’t got the things that we take for granted in our country. To them our country would seem marvellous because they wouldn’t be able to even begin to comprehend what we’ve got over here in our countries.

Please as usual if you have got any more opinions on this subject or if you just want to share more details below in the comments, please feel free!

Jem

xx

No violence

 

 

 

Happy 20 Years of Potter!

Hi All,

So it would only be right if I did this post to mark a special birthday today and that is 20 years since the Philosophers Stone has been released to us awaiting Potterheads. I can’t believe how much Harry Potter now means to all of us in a way, it sends out a message that we all need to know from a young age, and that is the difference between good and evil, because as kids I know I did this, I thought everyone was decent and that no-one was a bad person. So this was a well-learnt lesson that Harry Potter taught most people who read the books and watched the films.

Also, the books and films encouraged families of all ages to read and watch the Harry Potter stories come to life, this then encouraged different people on world book days within schools to dress up as their favourite Harry Potter characters from both the books and the films. This was one of my favourite events throughout the year, because I loved to watch people come into the school world book day assembly wearing their favourite characters costume, it was fantastic seeing people walking into the hall with the same pride their character would have if they were to walk into the Great Hall of Hogwarts if they were in the books or the films.

Then not forgetting the Premiers and Book launches that the Harry Potter series gave us, people used to camp outside bookstores and they also used to camp in Leicester Square in London days before the actual premier used to take place, just so that then they could be among the first people to get a picture and an autograph with their favourite Potter star. This would give everyone a sense of achievement if they managed to get memorabilia like this from the premiere of the Harry Potter Series.

Furthermore, J.K Rowling used to do readings of her new book at the Natural History Museum in London for all her fans to go down and listen to her read a few pages from the latest Harry Potter book from the series. I used to sit and watch programs like Newsround that used to do a coverage of the reading for those people who couldn’t always make it to the readings of the different books.

I hope you lot have enjoyed this post today, please feel free to celebrate along with me today and post your favourite Potter moments in the comments below, let’s get our own community going through this blog!

Jem

xx

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Moving Forward

Hi all,

So today I have decided to do a post all about moving forward, from having my friends and my personality taken away, by being manipulated. This then impacted me by me feeling isolated with almost no one around me when I needed them, however one of my remaining friends was actually supporting me through the whole process(along with a glass of wine or two) but my other friends that I had before all this began were pushed away. This all impacted me and made me feel alone and depressed.

But after all that I have now got my friends around me again and I truly do feel like I’m getting back to normal again, realising just how much I missed them from the start. I can now also say that I am not going to let anyone, no matter how important that they might seem at the time get in the way of me and my boys again or me and any of my friends come to think of it, I love them all far too much.

It was hard for me to realise that I was being manipulated to start off with because I thought I was happy and settled sown with someone, but now I can see just how much I was isolated from everyone in every way, I didn’t have the support there when I needed it the most and I missed having my friends around me and the bit of freedom that I had.

But now all that is over, I feel like I am getting back on track, I have recently passed my college course that I have been working on for the past 3 years and I am looking forward to carrying on with my study at the Open University for next year, working towards completing a teacher training course, I am so looking forward to doing that because it is all that I have wanted to do for the past god knows how many years. I love working with people and especially inspiring young people to do new subjects to hopefully guide them on the right path for them to start their career in when they leave education, that is one of my main reasons for wanting to be a teacher.

The future is looking bright for me, as it could for anyone, no matter how bad a situation might seem at the time, as one of my friends will always back me up by saying: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and I do truly believe in that quote because it is true in every way.

 

Ok I feel like I have rambled on a bit today but I hope that I have inspired you that when something goes wrong to rely on the people around you and try however hard it might be, to dust yourself down and try again. This is what I’ve had to do and I hope that you will be able to do that too. Let me know what you thought about this blog in the comments below and follow me on the social media links as well.
Jem

Xx

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Mental Abuse

Hi all,

So this is a difficult one for me, I have been in many different and both difficult situations.

The first is one that I rarely open up about and this is where I was sexually abused when I was a teenager by my next door neighbour. He disguised himself as a family friend, but he used to blackmail me and say that I had to do something that he wanted like not put a DVD on or he would kiss me. This made me feel like I was constantly not doing anything right and at times it actually felt to me as though I was encouraging it. 

When this situation was finally reported, it felt to me as though I had got to accept being abused for many different reasons because there were times when I felt so disgusting and as though I was worthless. He was at the time in his 70’s and just the thought of it again even now makes me feel sick.

Another situation that I have been is is actually just recently when my partner actually controlled me to the extent of, I was separated from the people that I love and care for simply because she made it seem like the easiest thing to do, but only now do I see this is because she simply wanted me to herself. This again made me feel the worst that I have ever felt, also everything that I did she made me feel that I had done something wrong, I also couldn’t do some of the things that I loved to do. 

The first example of abuse that I have given was purely physical abuse and then the second was mental abuse. Abusers are often disguised as people who care for you and often people that you grow to like or even love.

If you have been affected by anything like this, please don’t suffer in silence you really really don’t need to.

Feelings 

Hi readers,

So today I thought I would do something a little different to what I’ve ever done before and that would be to talk about feelings. Feelings can be interpreted in many different ways, for instance when you are in a relationship, your feelings should be heard and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of voicing your true feelings to your partner if that is how you feel. If you find that you can’t voice your feelings to your partner whilst within a relationship, then take it from someone who knows you need to get out of that particular relationship before it is too late and you end up being miserable. 

Feelings are also really important to your friends and family, because they love and care for you and if there is something wrong, then very often they like to know about it so that then they too can help you or try to offer you help, in order so that they know how best to help the situation that you are in. An example of this is that in the past I haven’t told friends things that they need to know and this in turn has caused a breakdown of the relationship because of me not telling them something important, as a result of this, I have probably gone the other way and started sharing way too much information, but I’d rather that than not enough. 

Another thing is, is that sometimes you have got to be careful with who you trust with your feelings sometimes, because occasionally, you might say the wrong thing to the wrong person and then this is how rumours spread, for example when I was in secondary school, it got around the whole school that I was gay in not even half a day, just because I had told one of the girls from my class the previous night over Facebook messenger. Had I not done that and carried on trusting my two best friends I would have probably been ok, but then that subjected me to bullying and then leading to me becoming depressed because I felt that I couldn’t deal with the way that things were anymore. So it is really important that before you disclose your feelings to someone that you make sure that you can actually trust them first. 

Carrying on from this it is also important that whoever your partner or friends are that you make sure that you can always be yourself around them, because there is nothing worse than saying that you can stick by someone, when actually you can’t because you can’t be yourself around them, this is really important because you don’t what that person or people dragging you away from the people that you have already been around for most of your life, just because of the way that you feel about that particular person or people. 

Over Coming Bullying

Hi all,

So tonight I thought that I would do a different post for you all, a post that I think most people can relate to, and that is of course Bullying which especially these days can take many different shapes and forms on account of the different pieces of technology that are around.

For those of you who don’t know I was bullied really badly in the past, pushed into school lockers at my local secondary school and then someone once threatened to kick my head in as well. This used to make me not want to go to school and I very often used to have panic attacks before I even went into school and the bullying started, I was always seen as a loner in school and therefore was apart from everyone else except from my two best friends that used to stick with me whenever they could to make sure I was ok.

However, whilst all this was going on I had different ways of coping with the bullying that I was going through, and that was very often either dancing in my room with the volume of the music turned up really loud, to the point where mum used to complain about it. The other way that I used to cope was to immerse myself in the drama classes that I attended at the school, because in that room I could be anyone that I wanted to be, and the drama teacher used to encourage me to use my personality more by encouraging me to direct the rest of the group by getting them to do different still images together and also hot seating as well. Everything like that I loved and with time, I developed my personality even further and got the group to do exactly what I had in mind.

I also had some really brilliant friends and family around me at the time and they used to help me cope by just being there for me and by occasionally providing me with a shoulder to cry on should I ever need it. Though sometimes it was difficult for me to even let my guard down with my friends, because sometimes I didn’t want them to see my vulnerable side, so I would keep it hidden away deep inside, but even then they knew something was wrong.

If you have been affected by bullying and you have got different coping mechanisms, maybe you could share those in the comments? in order to help other people who are going through the same thing as you.

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